The Priest

I’m Peter Vanderhoelt, I’m 68 years old
My doubts and questions have increased in forty-two years of being a priest
I’m at the end of my life I’m not sure if I’m gonna survive
I often don’t know what to say when I talk to Him, when I pray
In reply I receive only silence no relief
I’ve waited in vain for a little advice from that great voice in the ethereal skies

Once I was a revolutionary, a devoted mercenary
A gifted student in God’s hands, now I’m old and sick of his demands
I tried to be honest and good, did my job the best I could
But I always stayed that average man right in the spot where I began
During the grief with which I've dealt, it’s been three decades since I’ve felt
The certainty I so adored about the existence of the Lord

I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago

I’ve given to my parish
Things I don’t have myself, but cherish
Namely love and charity, mostly purpose, that’s what sets you free
So I’m where the metaphors are not comforting anymore
I think I’m almost done with my search I got old so fast here in my church
It feels as if I’m kept out of some sort of secret about
The meaning of life, sometimes
I can’t fail to notice these are mediocre times

I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago

Time has made me good at one thing and horrible at everything else
The blessings of the world divine were always elsewhere, were never mine
Oh I would like to hold someone briefly, and maybe have some fun
But my body’s oddly designed so I’m not really the hugging kind
Not once, has there been, someone with a softer skin
Who reached out for me in the middle of the night
Across my old lumpy mattress when I turn on the light
I think I’ve been miscast, the time of saints is past
My faith is weak, last but not least
After forty-two years of being a priest
The church is like a woman, a thing out of reach, like a vision
She glimmers in the distance to which I could never quite get

Now I am left here with my regret
I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago

It’s my portion, it’s my cup
It’s my portion, it’s my cup
It’s my portion, it’s my cup